By Paul Krassner (Moronia) Politics: The electoral college will be replaced by a system where voters will choose the polling firm they trust the most. Rick Perry will copyright the word “Oops.”

Show Business: Angelina Jolie will legally adopt Brad Pitt. The Tea Party will become a popular sitcom. Capital-punishment executions will become a top-rated reality-TV series.  The Taliban and al-Quaeda will be the final competitors on The Biggest Terrorists. Hulu and Netflix will merge as Netflu.

Fashion Trends: Arizona, Mississippi and Tennessee will refuse to recognize Leap Year. Prescription drugs will become children’s names, such as Ambien and Lipitor. Combination vibrators and insomnia cures will be invented, trademarked as Dildoze.

The Economy: The Supreme Court will download all corporations into embryos. Several million jobs will be created as Unemployment Insurance clerks.

International Relations: North Korea’s new Beloved Leader will allow almost 70 McDonald’s restaurants to open; he won’t allow them to sell any food. Saudi-Arabia will outlaw laughter. Iraq will become our 51st state. Products made in China will be increasingly pirated by American entrepreneurs. The most Christmas popular gift will be cans of pepper-spray in a variety of flavors.

Read the full story on Huffington Post.

 January 29, 2012  Posted by Jules Siegel at 8:24 am No Responses »
 

By Walter Brasch (Moronia)–I am a Jew. I don’t mind receiving Christmas cards or being wished a “Merry Christmas” from friends, clerks, or even in junk mail trying to sell me something no sane person should ever buy. My wife and I even send Christmas cards, with messages of peace and joy, to our friends who are Christians or who we don’t know their religion.

I like Christmas music and Christmas carolers, even if some have voices that crack now and then, perhaps from the cold.

At home, from as early as I could remember, my family bought and decorated a Christmas tree, and gave gifts to each other and our friends. Usually we put a Star of David on the tree, undoubtedly an act of heresy for many Jews and Christians. We learned about Christmas—and about Chanukah, the “feast of lights,” an eight day celebration of joy and remembrance of the rededication of the Temple of Jerusalem at a time when it seemed as if a miracle had saved the Jews from darkness during the Maccabean revolt in the second century BCE.

This year, my wife and I have a two-foot tall cypress tree, decorated with angels and small LED lights, a gift from a devout Christian. We weren’t offended by the gift; we accepted it and displayed it on a table in our dining room in the spirit of friendship. In Spring, we’ll plant the tree in our backyard and hope it grows strong and tall, giving us shade and oxygen, perhaps serving as a sanctuary for birds, squirrels, and other wildlife.

What I do mind is the pomposity of some of the religious right who deliberately accost me, often with an arrogant sneer on their lips, to order me to accept their “well wishes” of  a “Merry Christmas.” Their implication is “Merry Christmas—or else!” It’s their way of saying their religion is the one correct religion, that all others are wrong.

The problem is that although I am secure in my beliefs and try to understand and tolerate other beliefs, the extreme right is neither secure nor does it tolerate difference or dissent.

Continue reading »

 December 22, 2011  Posted by Walter Brasch at 10:17 am No Responses »
 

By Jenny Deam (Los Angeles Times) According to the Air Force Academy’s enrollment records, only three of United States Air Force 4,300 cadets identified themselves as pagans, followers of an ancient religion that generally does not worship a single god and considers all things in nature interconnected.

Still, the academy this year dedicated an $80,000 outdoor worship center — a small Stonehenge-like circle of boulders with propane fire pit — high on a hill for the handful of current or future cadets whose religions fall under the broad category of “Earth-based.” Those include pagans, Wiccans, druids, witches and followers of Native American faiths.

Chaplain Maj. Darren Duncan, branch chief of cadet faith communities at the academy says that it is no different from the worship spaces that serve this year’s 11 Muslim, 16 Buddhist and 10 Hindu cadets. There are also 43 self-identified atheist cadets whose beliefs, or lack of them, are also to be respected.

This is not about religious tolerance — a phrase Duncan, a Christian, rejects as implying that the majority religion is simply putting up with the minority. He calls it a 1st Amendment issue. If the military is to defend the Constitution, it should also be upholding its guarantee of religious freedom. “We think we are setting the standard,” Duncan says.

via Air Force Academy adapts to pagans, druids, witches and Wiccans – latimes.com.

 November 27, 2011  Posted by Jules Siegel at 8:40 am No Responses »
 

By Paul Krassner (Huffington Post) Jim Jones, founder of the 8,000-member People’s Temple in San Francisco, once asked Margo St. James, founder of the prostitutes’ rights group, COYOTE (Call Off Your Old Tired Ethics), how he could obtain political power.

She answered, sardonically, “Arrange for some of your women to have sex with the bigwigs.”

It was well known around City Hall that Moscone had a predilection for black women. Police almost arrested him once with a black prostitute in a car at a supermarket parking lot.

Soon after the Dan White trial, Lee Cole, an ex-Scientologist I had met in Chicago while researching the Charles Manson case, took me to see Lowell Streiker, author of The Cults Are Coming! and a deprogrammer who had counseled one-third of the Jonestown survivors. In the course of our conversation, I mentioned my theory that Jim Jones had served as a pimp at City Hall and maintained power by implied blackmail.

Dr. Streiker told me of his friend — a member of Jones’ planning commission — who had told him about the technique that People’s Temple had used on Mayor Moscone. They sent a young black female member to service him, as a gift, then called the next week about a serious problem — she had lied, said she was eighteen, when in fact she was underage, but don’t worry, we have it under control — just the way J. Edgar Hoover used to manipulate top politicians with his juicy FBI files.

So Jim Jones had taken Margo St. James’ sardonic advice after all, on how to achieve political power: “Arrange for some of your women to have sex with the bigwigs.” And he had taken it all the way to a mass suicide-murder — which occurred simultaneously with a mass demonstration by the women’s movement in San Francisco, called “Take Back the Night!”

Paul Krassner’s dialogue with Andrew Breitbart appears in the December issue of Playboy.

via Paul Krassner: Sex, Corruption and the Kool-Aid Massacre.

 November 25, 2011  Posted by Jules Siegel at 9:21 am No Responses »
 

(AP)  Billy E. Hyatt claims in a federal lawsuit that he was fired from Pliant Corp., a plastics factory in northern Georgia near Dalton, after he refused to wear a sticker proclaiming that his factory had been accident-free for 666 days. That number is considered the “mark of the beast” in the Bible’s Book of Revelation describing the apocalypse. He feared wearing it would doom him to eternal damnation.

via Lawsuit: Ga. man fired for refusing to wear ’666′ – CBS News.

 November 19, 2011  Posted by Jules Siegel at 10:31 am No Responses »
 

By Brian Rogers (Houston Chronicle) Thomas Jason Fortenberry, 30, is accused of choosing two 15-year-olds and two 17-year-olds for a church game that ended with the girls being covered in honey.

According to court documents, Fortenberry recently admitted to the two older girls that he hid a camera at the Greater Harvest Community Church in Pasadena. He said he taped them disrobing and washing the honey off.

via Pasadena youth pastor accused of filming teen girls in shower | Houston & Texas News | Chron.com – Houston Chronicle.

 August 8, 2011  Posted by Jules Siegel at 8:34 pm No Responses »
 

By Phil Zuckerman and Dan Cady (Religious Intelligence) The results from a recent poll published by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life reveal what social scientists have known for a long time: White Evangelical Christians are the group least likely to support politicians or policies that reflect the actual teachings of Jesus.

via Why Evangelicals Hate Jesus « religiousintelligence.com.

 April 27, 2011  Posted by Jules Siegel at 8:19 am No Responses »
 

By Amina Khan (Los Angeles Times) People in messy environments tend to compensate by categorizing people in their minds according to well-known stereotypes, researchers from Tilburg University in the Netherlands say.

via Stereotypes study: Disorderly environments can feed stereotypes, study finds – Los Angeles Times.

 April 10, 2011  Posted by Jules Siegel at 9:41 am No Responses »
 

By Carol J. Williams (Los Angeles Times) Derence Kernek and Ed Watson live together each day in fear that they won’t be able to pledge “till death do us part” before it’s too late.

Watson, 78, is in rapidly failing health, afflicted with Alzheimer’s disease, obesity, diabetes and hypertension.

A federal appeals court ruled last week that same-sex marriage will remain on hold in California until a judge’s ruling striking down Proposition 8 as unconstitutional makes its way through the higher courts — reviews expected to take a year or more.

“We don’t have the money to travel to a state where it’s legal,” said Kernek, 80, observing dejectedly that the travel would probably be too grueling for his partner of 40 years. “Besides, we wanted to do it in California, where our friends are, where we live. Now I don’t think we’ll be able to, not while Ed can still remember.”

The ticking clock on Watson’s awareness was one of a chronicle of arguments presented to the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals in an unsuccessful bid to convey the urgency of letting same-sex marriage resume during the protracted appeals process.

via Same-sex marriage: After court keeps gay marriage on hold, elderly couples fear they won’t make it through the appeals process – latimes.com.

 March 28, 2011  Posted by Jules Siegel at 6:56 am No Responses »
 

(Change) Exodus International, the notorious “ex-gay” organization, has just released an iPhone app that, according to its website, is “designed to be a useful resource for men, women, parents, students, and ministry leaders.” The Exodus website further boasts that its app received a 4+ rating from Apple, meaning that it contains “no objectionable content.”

No objectionable content? We beg to differ. Exodus’ message is hateful and bigoted. They claim to offer “freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus Christ” and use scare tactics, misinformation, stereotypes and distortions of LGBT life to recruit clients. They endorse the use of so-called “reparative therapy” to “change” the sexual orientation of their clients, despite the fact that this form of “therapy” has been rejected by every major professional medical organization including the American Psychological Association, the American Medical Association, and the American Counseling Association. But reparative therapy isn’t just bad medicine — it’s also very damaging to the self-esteem and mental health of its victims.

This new iPhone app is the latest move in Exodus’ dangerous new strategy of targeting youth. In light of the recent wave of LGBT youth suicides, this tactic is particularly galling as it creates, legitimizes, and fuels the ostracism of LGBT youth by their families. According to a study published in the Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, LGBT teens who experienced negative feedback from their family were 8 times more likely to have attempted suicide, 6 times as vulnerable to severe depression, and 3 times more likely to use drugs (Caitlin Ryan, San Francisco State University, June 2009).

Apple doesn’t allow racist or anti-Semitic apps in its app store, yet it gives the green light to an app targeting vulnerable LGBT youth with the message that their sexual orientation is a “sin that will make your heart sick” and a “counterfeit.” This is a double standard that has the potential for devastating consequences.

Apple needs to be told, loud and clear, that this is unacceptable. Stand with Truth Wins Out — demand that the iTunes store stop supporting homophobia and remove the Exodus app.

via Gay Rights Petition: Demand that Apple remove “ex-gay” iPhone app | Change.org.

 March 19, 2011  Posted by Jules Siegel at 11:49 am No Responses »